I live with my human Mom, Pop, brother and sister. I also live with a green parakeet I have to be careful around since I weigh 73 pounds more than him. Pop is my main pal and the two of us like to camp, hang out together around the house and walk in the park. I’m an easy going guy and if I was a human I’d still be laid back ‘cause there’s no room on this handsome face for stress wrinkles.
I am a marine in a dog’s body. I live with my human Mom and brother when he visits. I also live with Turbo, Frazier and Helen Grace – a mean-tempered fat rabbit. I like to talk and I like to eat. My favorite food is food and that is that. I do not walk on wet grass and that is not negotiable. I only pay attention if treats are involved. Dang I love treats.
I’m a little guy compared to big guys. I mostly sit in laps real quiet-like unless I get excited then I howl a high-pitched Ra-Roo. Mom puts her fingers in her ears when I do that. My tummy hurts when myself is scared. I curl up next to Mom when my eyes want to sleep. I love bones mostest of all things. I have a human brother and a grandma who stays with us lots of times. Maxine and Frazier live with me. If I was a human instead of a dog I would mostest likely be as myself is right now.
If Ah was a human, Ah’d be happiest wearin’ bib overalls an’ a white tee shirt, sittin’ in a recliner watchin’ tha game, drinkin’ a cold beer. Ah share mah house with Turbo an’ Maxine an’ little fishes who live in their own round water house. Since mah human Momma gave me mah forever home, nobody hits me or yells at me no more – even when Ah forget an’ lift mah leg in tha house. Ah shore love mah Momma. She makes mah heart full when Ah do somethin’ good an’ she claps her hands fer me.
I enjoy my human family but I cannot say the same about the psycho cat who lives in our house. If I were a human, I would wear a crown signifying my status as Empress of the Universe and would win every game of Trivia I played with anyone foolish enough to challenge me. I enjoy surfing the Internet, reading dictionaries and watching humans behaving in most unusual ways.